The commercialism of Valentine’s Day is in full effect and the expectations of receiving flowers, cards and candy are at an all time high. But let’s not let gift giving overshadow the true meaning of this special day. Building connections is no small feat and getting to a point where you can be vulnerable and open with someone is cause for celebration. Whether it’s acknowledging the love of your partner, self or others, it’s important to strengthen your love by nourishing an intimate bond. Intimacy literally means closeness, and this can be seen on different levels. This article will focus on five different kinds of intimacy and the importance intimacy has to our well-being and our roles in our relationships.
Physical Intimacy
When we think of intimacy, we often think of physical intimacy. Physical touch tends to be a pretty good indicator of a close relationship. All intimacy types require a level of trust. Examples of physical intimacy are caressing your partner’s hands as you hold their gaze in a conversation. Other examples include sharing an all encompassing embrace, or sitting close enough to graze a shoulder. People who have good physical intimacy seem to be drawn to each other physically without even realizing. They find themselves always making physical contact with their partner, whether they’re watching a movie or walking down the street, their hands are always resting on their partner. In friendships, physical intimacy can reveal itself in a comforting touch when a friend is sharing some heartbreaking news or a slight tap to the shoulder when the friend is telling a hilarious joke. It’s crucial that the intimacy is a mutual agreement and that your partner also welcomes this form of contact. Remember, consent is sexy!!!
Spiritual Intimacy
Spiritual Intimacy involves beliefs, values and morals. It’s the shared sense of purpose and belief in something greater than oneself. In relationships, spiritual intimacy is very important if it drives the individuals in their day to day. In these types of relationships they may share spiritual values or discuss personal beliefs with one another. A mutual support for spiritual growth can deepen the appreciation you have towards your partner, allowing you to flourish in your beliefs. At the core, everyone has beliefs about something. Whether it’s something greater than oneself or not, shared beliefs or the understanding and respect of your loved one’s beliefs tend to create a safe environment for your partner and allows them to have the green light to share what drives their purpose in life without fear of judgment. Even when individuals come from different religious backgrounds, they may have a strong spiritual intimacy if their core beliefs are in sync. In friendships, this type of intimacy can be fostered through meaningful conversations about life, purpose, values and a deeper conversation of interconnectedness.
Recreational Intimacy
Recreational intimacy is built through shared experiences with one another. These experiences bring fulfilling joy, and are shared moments that can be looked back on and held as precious memories. Creating laughter and a shared sense of adventure can truly bond people as that person will be forever etched in that cherished memory. Especially on holidays like Valentine’s Day, going to a romantic candle lit dinner at the new restaurant you’ve both been dying to try can elevate the experience. What can be better than doing something fun with a loved one? If you’re trying to create a deeper relationship, sharing recreational moments together that bring joy to you and your partner can quicken the intimacy level.Taking someone to watch a movie they’ve mentioned wanting to see in passing shows that you listen and are attentive to what makes them happy. Sharing those moments together is a great way to have them always associate a positive memory with yourself.
Aesthetic Intimacy
Aesthetic Intimacy is not one many people think about but can be just as important as the other intimacy levels in building a deeply rooted relationship. Aesthetic Intimacy revolves around shared appreciation for beauty. For example, the shared appreciation of nature or the admiration of abstract art. When two people in a relationship find each other attractive, and/or have the same appreciation for beauty, the reward part of their brain lights up. Through research it’s clear that our brains prefer to look at what we perceive as beautiful over what we determine is “ugly” or distasteful. Creating aesthetically pleasing spaces together or discussing down to the specifics what draws you to the piece of art can be an emotional, transcending experience. Try examining your partner with the gaze of an artist, finding the beauty in every freckle or texture and allow yourself to fully immerse in the feeling of being in front of a masterpiece.
Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is debatably the most important intimacy you could master with your partner.
It involves sharing your innermost thoughts, fears and passions with your trusted partner. In order to master this level of intimacy you and your partner must be vulnerable and create safe spaces to reveal your true authentic selves. Communication, active listening and empathetic understanding are necessary for emotional intimacy to flourish. An example of emotional intimacy would be voicing to your partner how something that occurred in the day got you in a bad mood. Your partner would give you the space to vent and provide productive feedback to improve the outcome if that occurrence happened again. Another example would be sharing your deepest fear, regardless of how trivial or dark it might seem to someone else. Sharing this with your partner helps establish honesty in the relationship and allows you to feel the acceptance from your partner that humans inherently crave.
Conclusion
Building relationships that go beyond the surface level is necessary to learn about your partner’s authentic self and allow them to gain insight into your authentic self.
- Physical touch can act as a language in itself, sending signals of comfort to your loved one.
- Shared spiritual values deepen a connection with your partner based on morals and purpose.
- Happiness and teamwork occur in recreational activities done together.
- Beauty is admired through a connected lens
- A safe space is provided for emotional understanding.
By embracing and nurturing the different facets of intimacy in a relationship, we achieve wellness in our partnership. Bonds are strengthened, trust is deepened and walls are broken down. This not only helps truly foster a passionately intimate relationship but also significantly contributes to personal well-being.
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